And so it begins...

The past six months have been amazing. I have been able to watch my little man grow, explore, and discover the world around us. 

I've lived life as a stay at home mom, a part-time working mom, and a mom trying to work from home. All of these having their own challenges and joys in the journey.

Today, I've begun my journey as a full time working mom aka my child began day care for the first time.

I'm fortunate in that my husband gets the opportunity to drop him off in the mornings so that I don't have to leave a possible crying baby. To my surprise, my husband got a little teary eyed as he placed our son in his new crib whom immediately started to whimper. I'm sure that my little one probably looked at my husband with those huge eyes...how could you not want to hold him? I don't know if he cried once my husband left, or what ensued after, but I do know how I feel now, and that's what I want to document. I want to document my thoughts and feelings for this exact moment of real life. None of the fake fluffy stuff.

My husband and I both knew that our baby was going to daycare. After many discussions, we felt it's what is best for our family. We knew this before we even got pregnant. Our mind was set and already in that accepting process. This type of thinking definitely helped with the start of my full time working mom status. However, that mindset was not my expectations of how today would go...

My expectations: Wake up to a happy baby, get ready for work and spend time with my sweet baby - maybe get a first day of day care picture?, spend a busy first day of the semester at work, pump and enjoy a lunch, continue with work, pump again, go pick up my baby with no traffic on the road since it will be early afternoon, arrive to an excited baby so happy to see me, arrive at home to enjoy quality time.

What really occurred...

Woke up to a happy baby. Nursed him. Didn't get too much time with him in the morning since I was scrambling to put together last minute things that didn't happen at 11 pm last night. At least he was satisfied with watching me get ready in his pack in play while chewing on his new chew toy for a while. First day of day care picture? Are you kidding me? I still have to brush my teeth...Should I pump real quick or nurse him again? I want to spend time with him before I go - nursing it is!  Lots of kisses later, I was off for my morning commute, and left my husband to finish getting himself and our baby ready.

My work day was very busy. VERY busy. First day of school is always crazy, but my MWF are exceptionally crazy for me. Four classes and one 50 min break. I managed to pump twice at work and swallow a lunch at 10:30 am. First day back, 1 pm, and I'm already anxious about my milk supply since, my pumping led me to a bottle short in restocking. I guess it's extra pumping in the evenings and/or weekends...

I leave work and decide to take the interstate, which would be a quicker route to get to his daycare. Not long after choosing my no turning back path, all I see is red. Red tail lights, glaring back at me. I was great all day - thanks to many text messages and prayers from friends - until this dead stopped traffic began teasing me that I had to wait to get my baby. What if he is ready to feed again? Or he wants me, thank you 6 month attachment developmental stage... wait, I want him! Now. At a last minute, I decide to take an alternate route, which worked surprisingly well, and finally arrive at my destination.

I enter the room, only to discover that my baby was not happy, nor excited. In fact the very opposite, so upset he is trying to catch his breath. I'm not sure why, nor do I blame the staff at the nursery for this, but this was not what I was anticipating. He held me tight, and I knew he missed me. I need to save tears for the car ride...I tried to put him in his car seat, but it only upset him more. I need to save tears for the car ride....I held him a little longer as the worker gathered up his bottles. A little more  crying  screaming later I managed to get my little dude in the car and let the tears out as I headed home.

Was I upset? Yes, because it wasn't what I expected...My husband was supposed to deal with a crying baby, not I!  

Am I ok? Yes. Here are the reasons why:

1) I chose this day care for reasons. When I visited, I felt the most comfortable and confident that these women would do well in taking care of my child while I am away.

2) Big changes take time to adapt. I need time to adapt, so why expect a 6 month baby to not need time as well. They need time to learn his cues and cries, errr screams (it's just a phase, right?), and he needs time to learn their ways.

3) I have good support from an amazing husband, friends, and family that lend an ear or prayer when I need it. I don't want to imagine what kind of mom I would be without my solid support system.

4) Logan's Bible verse we chose to pray over him says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified and don't be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9.  God will be with him and me during and after this season, and this brings me comfort.

5) Choosing not to focus on missing the first time moments, and instead, choosing to celebrate and enjoy the first time moments that happen in front of me.

I'm sitting here typing away as my exhausted baby naps...my view of my living room floor is scattered blocks, chew toys, and his favorite green car. He was finally home crawling and playing in his territory with an every now and then big cheesy grin to appear on his cute little face every time he looked back at me to make sure I was there. I got my happy, excited baby after all, it just didn't occur when I expected it.

Here's to change.

Here's to a house that may stay dirty a little longer.

Here's to trying to figure out where my time needs to be spent (oh boy...).

Here's to a full time working mom trying to embrace a big change for her sweet loving family.

-Miche

Month 6

Happy Half Birthday my sweet adorable boy!!!

Almost crawling. like crazy close. up on all fours and rocking. up on all fours and knees aren't touching the ground sometimes. You move really well on your belly - make circles. You started to pull yourself forward like an army crawl on 6/27.  You are so strong. You just love being on your belly and doing push up position to superman and vice versa.

You sit up by yourself. I'm still a little cautious around you though since you have tumbled a few times and we don't have carpet. :/

You like to play this game where you take your square plastic block or nunu and you "throw it" and chase after it

Like to lift up pieces of your abc mat and chew on edge. I'm not happy about that. When I fuss you, you smile and even laugh sometimes. Oh discipline may be a trying time...

Month of spitting up, a lot, I think mainly because you are moving around on your belly a lot. We always have a burp cloth nearby.

Travis and I let you turn off the light to your room. Sometimes you can do it by yourself.

You can turn on and off your aquarium crib soother now. Travis and I were playing video games on a very rare occasion during one of your naps one weekend, and we heard the music turn off on the monitor. We looked at it and you had head butted it. A couple minutes later, you turned it back on. It was the funniest thing! Now you can use your hand.

It's become more difficult to give you medicine. Diaper changes are also challenging since you like to twist and move and feel your textured walls.

More aware of the tv, you love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You smile and wave your arms as soon as the music comes on. When I let you watch tv, you watch for 10 min spans it seems, then you get bored. It's just enough time for me to get something done - like pee, pump, etc.

Favorite toys: car, driving in your red car, Sophie, box of shapes, and anything that spins, lights up, or moves.

How are we dealing with teething: wet cold towels, teething tablets, and Tylenol when you constantly tug your ears. No new teeth though.

   We had our first family vacation to Orange Beach, Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed at Phoenix on the Bay with our friends Hope, Robbie, and Emma (2 weeks older than you).
   It was your first time being in high chairs at restaurants. You did so well playing with your toy and eating your mum crackers.
   You weren't a huge fan of sleeping in your stroller while mom and dad tried to outlet shop.  You ate carrots for the first time at Lambert's and really enjoyed them.
    We spent a good amount of time in the pool and floating around the lazy river. You loved chewing on your rubber ducky, and watching the people float around us. You got lots of people's attention of how cute you were floating around in momma's lap. Everyone was very respectful and tried not to bump our raft. Daddy did a good job of stirring our floaty.  You loved splashing around in the pool with Daddy. We had a good time throwing a little spiky ball back and forth in the water.
     We brought you down to the bay area by our condo. You immediately dug your toes in the sand and seemed to enjoy the feeling. You were mesmerized by the small waves coming in. We let you sit down where the water meets the sand and you enjoyed it. You started to dig your hands in the wet sand, and unfortunately we had to stop your experience there due to avoiding any sand getting into your mouth. Mom and Dad are so happy that you enjoy the beach! We are planning a trip to come back next year.
     Hope and I got a lot - Are they the same age? Did y'all plan your pregnancy together? So y'all were pregnant at the same time?

We started baby weening. We let you feed yourself, for the most part. Foods you've tried so far: peaches, cob of corn with no corn on it (you love this!), carrots, avocado, sweet potatoes, bananas. All fresh food. We feed you once a day, usually during dinner time as we all eat as a family. One of my favorite parts of the day. Snacks: puffs and mum banana crackers. You seem to like foods much better the second go round. You are constantly watching mommy and daddy anytime we eat or drink. I'm basically feeding you whatever we have at the house and are feeding ourselves. I haven't given you any purred food yet.

You are officially crawling - you pull yourself forward. You are moving all over the place. I love when you see me and crawl towards me with excitement and smiles. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world.

We've had our last play date this week. It's been really hard trying to work on school stuff while taking care of you. You've managed to crumple and rip a few of my papers. This last week before you turn 6 months has been rough. We've spent a couple nights waking up every 2 hours to feed. You are starting to get a little more clingy to be - which I love - but it makes things a lot harder to prepare for the upcoming semester. It's so bittersweet, but I'm trying to prepare myself mentally that you will do so well in day care next week. I know that it will take time for all of us to adjust to mommy now working full time. I'm excited, nervous, stressed, worried, scared, happy, sad. What a ball of emotions I am as I will be entering into the working mom world. But, this week, I've had 3 words of encouragement - Thank you, Lord!

1)  The anticipation is worse than the actual transition, and we will all be fine and make it.

2) Joshua 1:9  The Bible verse that Travis and I prayed for Logan since we found out we were pregnant. A friend painted it on a canvas for me, and I read it to Logan almost every day. He gets so excited and smiles the whole time while I read it. I'm going to be brave and courageous, because I know that God will be with my family and I before, during, and after this time.

3) My pediatrician's wise words, "It's not about the quantity of time, but the quality of time spent together."  My work goal this semester is to leave work at work, so that I can have true quality of time with my family at home.

For future reference:

Sleeping:We are back to a regular schedule. You nap 2 - 3 times a day. Your naps usually range from 45 min - almost 2 hours. Night - usually have 2 wake ups to feed, every now and then 1 wake up. You love and cry for your bath time routine - usually around 8-8:30.

Eating: Currently, during the day you go 2 hr, maybe 2 1/2 hours. Rarely 3. You are eating 4 - 5 oz.

Weight
Birth: 7 lbs. 11 oz
1 month: 9 lbs. 12 oz
2 month: 10 lbs. 13 oz
3 month: 12 lbs. 10 oz
4 month: 14 lbs. 9 oz
6 month: 17 lbs. 14 oz


Height
Birth: 20.25"
1 month: 22.25"
2 month: 23"
3 month: 24.25"
4 month: 25"
6 month: 25.75"


Thank you, God, for choosing me to be this little fella's momma.

Love you, Logan.

Peace, Love, and Goodbye Stay at Home Mom life,
-Miche