Prideful?...Who me?!?

Three weeks ago, my husband and I decided to join the gym. We were finally financially able to join a gym, and I'm so proud of my husband setting a goal to loose weight this year so that he can improve his health for the sake of our family. He is currently healthy, just overweight. So I agreed to support his decisions about switching to a more healthy lifestyle (yay for keeping up with a New Year's Resolution!). This is the first time that I've ever been to a gym. I had briefly attended the cardio room one semester in college, but never a real gym. The first week at the gym, I wasn't quite sure what to do. I ran cross country in high school, so I figured why not hit the treadmill. A little nervous, I hit the 5k button and entered in my weight. As the treadmill began on a low speed, I thought, I can handle this. In fact, I couldn't help but gaze look at what speed the person on the side of me was doing. I instantly thought to myself, if they are on THAT speed, then I can definitely go faster. Little did I know that the machine would make that decision quickly for me. After a 2 minute "warm up" the treadmill decided to more than double it's current speed. As I am now running at a decent pace, I immediately think, well I'm definitely going faster than my treadmill neighbor now. Haha! Then quickly my body reminds me that I hadn't run in quite a few many years and that I'm also no longer 16. After a short time, I decide to lower my speed for two reasons, 1 - so that I wouldn't fall off the treadmill (which I learned a week later that I can't talk and run at the same time, doh!) and 2 - I didn't want to quit.

I left the gym and couldn't believe myself. Was I really prideful? I don't think of myself as a prideful person. Did I really just compare myself to another person in the gym? I learned the next day, thanks to my extremely sore leg muscles, that I can't start off running if my muscles aren't even used to walking. I'm happy to report that after completing Week 3 at the gym, that I can now run most of the 5k - but I had to build myself up to that point. My goal is to completely run a 5k, without changing the treadmill speeds, by the end of the month. If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm also trying not to compare myself at all with my treadmill neighbors. I don't know how long they have been working out or anything about these people. Why am I comparing myself to them? This is seeming to be more difficult than I thought...

One funny thing, a few days a ago, I caught my treadmill neighbor looking at my speed and then decided to raise up her speed only to lower her speed back down after about 30 seconds. So I guess I'm not the only one with a gazing at other people's treadmills problem.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, as I was gazing at a neighbor's treadmill speed one day, God asked me, "Why are you comparing your relationship with Me with the relationship I have with others?" I immediately thought, "Hold up, God weren't you supposed to ask me why am I comparing my running speed with my treadmill neighbor's speed?!" Why are you bringing up our relationship? Then God reminded me,  you can't start off running when you aren't comfortable yet with walking. There are things I don't understand, and I want to be at speed 6 when really, I'm at a speed 3. Honestly, it's not even about being at speed 6. During my conservation with God, He brought to my mind a quote from a book I'm currently reading, "It's not about figuring out all of the mysteries of God, but embracing Him and cherishing Him - even when He doesn't make perfect sense to us," - Francis Chan. So if I can get past all these details that I probably won't understand and embrace God for who He is, then THAT is what can take my relationship with God to the next level. I'm pretty sure I'm still in training. How about you?

-Miche

Comfort in the Details

I have been managing the tutoring lab on campus for a few years now. Recently, the enrollment numbers on the West Bank campus have grown drastically which has caused the college to open up more classes so that students can have a full schedule. This is a great for the college, but on the West Bank we lack space. Having space on campus is like gold. So to help accommodate the growth of numbers and perusing a project that my boss and I have been working on - an electronic classroom - I offered the idea of turning the tutoring lab into a classroom. It's a big room with roughly about 30 computers, perfect size for a classroom. After a few days of my boss contemplating upon the idea, she accepted it and made according changes. Now, over 15 classes are being held in the tutoring room. It's great to see the program flourishing and a place for students to have class. But what did this mean for the tutoring program? Well, it had to move somewhere else on campus or it would be no more. So the tutoring lab did move, to a much smaller room. We moved from a classroom that held 30 computers comfortably to a classroom about 1/4 of the size and somehow squeezes in 15 computers. I am very grateful for the space and that there is a place for students to come and get help with their math classes for free. In fact we are open 54 hours a week - even on Saturdays. Some days we see as many as 60 students come in and out our lab (sometimes even more if it's close to a test day). I think the program is a success. But I have to say, making this transition from a large classroom to a small computer lab has been a bit stressful. I'm not crazy about the change either (even it being my idea!), but I understand why it had to happen. Not many people like change, and moving from a space that was comfortable to a place that is a little more crammed can be uncomfortable. This past year, as the manager, I've heard SO many complaints about this change. In my eyes, the students should be happy that there IS a tutoring lab provided for them for free, but some of the students don't see it that way. They complain that there are not enough computers, the computers are too close to one another, etc. Of course this makes sense to them because they don't see the BIG picture. They don't understand that because of this move MANY students are now having a chance to take the math classes they need to graduate. Without making this switch, the math department wouldn't have another classroom. For the persistent complainers, I've taken the time and explained to them why the move had to happen. Some of the complainers quit complaining because now the move makes sense to them, but others have chosen to continue to complain and not accept the move. Unfortunately these students can't get pass the smallness of our lab and now miss out on the great opportunity to get help in their math classes.

I wonder if God ever gets frustrated with us sometimes? He provides for us, and yet we still complain sometimes about what He provided for us. Look at the Israelites in the Old Testament - God provided food and led them, yet they still complained. They wanted a king, and God gave them a king, and they still complained. Look at your own life. What is God providing for you and  yet you still complain? Are you so focused on the little things, that you forget how it all makes sense in the big picture? Have you ever been so closed minded that you can't get passed the little details and have missed a great opportunity? Is your comfort found in the details?

-Miche