Prideful?...Who me?!?

Three weeks ago, my husband and I decided to join the gym. We were finally financially able to join a gym, and I'm so proud of my husband setting a goal to loose weight this year so that he can improve his health for the sake of our family. He is currently healthy, just overweight. So I agreed to support his decisions about switching to a more healthy lifestyle (yay for keeping up with a New Year's Resolution!). This is the first time that I've ever been to a gym. I had briefly attended the cardio room one semester in college, but never a real gym. The first week at the gym, I wasn't quite sure what to do. I ran cross country in high school, so I figured why not hit the treadmill. A little nervous, I hit the 5k button and entered in my weight. As the treadmill began on a low speed, I thought, I can handle this. In fact, I couldn't help but gaze look at what speed the person on the side of me was doing. I instantly thought to myself, if they are on THAT speed, then I can definitely go faster. Little did I know that the machine would make that decision quickly for me. After a 2 minute "warm up" the treadmill decided to more than double it's current speed. As I am now running at a decent pace, I immediately think, well I'm definitely going faster than my treadmill neighbor now. Haha! Then quickly my body reminds me that I hadn't run in quite a few many years and that I'm also no longer 16. After a short time, I decide to lower my speed for two reasons, 1 - so that I wouldn't fall off the treadmill (which I learned a week later that I can't talk and run at the same time, doh!) and 2 - I didn't want to quit.

I left the gym and couldn't believe myself. Was I really prideful? I don't think of myself as a prideful person. Did I really just compare myself to another person in the gym? I learned the next day, thanks to my extremely sore leg muscles, that I can't start off running if my muscles aren't even used to walking. I'm happy to report that after completing Week 3 at the gym, that I can now run most of the 5k - but I had to build myself up to that point. My goal is to completely run a 5k, without changing the treadmill speeds, by the end of the month. If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm also trying not to compare myself at all with my treadmill neighbors. I don't know how long they have been working out or anything about these people. Why am I comparing myself to them? This is seeming to be more difficult than I thought...

One funny thing, a few days a ago, I caught my treadmill neighbor looking at my speed and then decided to raise up her speed only to lower her speed back down after about 30 seconds. So I guess I'm not the only one with a gazing at other people's treadmills problem.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, as I was gazing at a neighbor's treadmill speed one day, God asked me, "Why are you comparing your relationship with Me with the relationship I have with others?" I immediately thought, "Hold up, God weren't you supposed to ask me why am I comparing my running speed with my treadmill neighbor's speed?!" Why are you bringing up our relationship? Then God reminded me,  you can't start off running when you aren't comfortable yet with walking. There are things I don't understand, and I want to be at speed 6 when really, I'm at a speed 3. Honestly, it's not even about being at speed 6. During my conservation with God, He brought to my mind a quote from a book I'm currently reading, "It's not about figuring out all of the mysteries of God, but embracing Him and cherishing Him - even when He doesn't make perfect sense to us," - Francis Chan. So if I can get past all these details that I probably won't understand and embrace God for who He is, then THAT is what can take my relationship with God to the next level. I'm pretty sure I'm still in training. How about you?

-Miche