My normal day

1/17

A normal day for me is to woke up to a hungry 9 month old. I nurse and play her in a playpen so that I can get ready for my work day. Some mornings she screams and cries for me all the while I run around try to fix my hair, makeup, and get dressed. These mornings I feel torn and guilty because I can't hold my baby and give her the comfort she needs. Other mornings, she plays in her playpen happy and content, flashing her nearly toothless smile - especially when I share my breakfast with her. Every now and then, brother makes his way to my bedroom, and he is immediately drawn to his sister. They laugh and play and in that moment, I don't want to leave. I want to stay witnessing the happiness of my children forever. Unfortunately, time is ticking and morning traffic is growing, so I know I need to get moving if I expect to make it on time to my morning class. After fixing lunches, bottles, and pumping parts, kisses, hugs, and my toddler walking me out the door saying, "Don't be late, mom," I hit the road for a dreaded 40 min commute of bumper to bumper traffic and my mind focusing on the tasks of the day. On good commute mornings, I have a conversation with God.

After teaching three courses, responding to emails, seeing students during my office time, I begin my trek back home to pick up my kids from day care. It's on this drive that I feel so eager to see my babies again. I wonder what they did all day...did they nap? What/who did they play with? Did Logan play nice? Did he use the potty? What did they learn? Did Natalie take her first steps yet? I hope they had fun. Did they cry? As I'm greeted at the door, I walk in, and I hear voices saying, "That's Logan's mom!" I can't help but feel proud, and think to myself, "Yes, I sure am." Logan at this point runs to me and tackles me with a big hug. I force myself to dismiss negative thoughts of: Did he miss me that much? Should I keep him at day care? Should I keep him at this day care? I go to Natalie's room, and she is usually in an exersaucer. She immediately cracks a smile and begins bouncing for momma. Again, I force myself to dismiss the negative thoughts...was she given enough attention today? I lift my girl up and fight her to be placed in the car seat. She succumbs, and I place her in the car. I walk back and get Logan, and place him in his car seat as well. The ride home is filled with toddler songs on the radio, spit flying from both children, Natalie giggles, Logan shouting out the different vehicles he sees.

We arrive home where I place all bags outside the door and begin to unstrap my kids from their car seats. I unlock the door and let Logan in as I carry inside 3 bags, the mail, and Natalie. I place everything down and turn our alarm off. I now begin to unpack our bags and get the kids snacks, diapers changed, and potty time. At this moment, I begin the battle of wanting to "check out." I've had a long day and the kids are fed and clean, so why can't I just relax and loose myself in the internet and social media? As I win and sometimes loose this battle, Natalie is moving around and eating things that weren't meant to be eaten. Logan is very active and not letting Natalie touch any toys.






I'm a working mom and some days it's feels surreal.